Use 对不起 (duìbuqǐ) when you actually did something wrong. Use 不好意思 (bù hǎoyìsi) for friction — bumping into someone, interrupting, turning up a little late. Use 抱歉 (bàoqiàn) when the apology is formal or written. English collapses all three into "sorry", which is why learners over-apologise: 对不起 for squeezing past a stranger turns a small moment into a serious one.
Judge the size of what happened first. Inconvenience takes 不好意思; real harm takes 对不起. 真的很抱歉 (zhēn de hěn bàoqiàn) raises it again for a genuine failure at work or in writing. Then judge the relationship: 不好意思 is warm and everyday, 抱歉 is cooler and more professional, and 您 (nín) instead of 你 fits an elder, a teacher, or a customer. One pronunciation note — 对不起 is said duì bu qǐ, because 不 goes neutral inside this fixed phrase rather than staying bù.
To open a question to a stranger, 请问 (qǐngwèn) is the standard: 请问，洗手间在哪儿？ To get past someone or catch their attention, 不好意思 and 劳驾 (láojià) both work. To soften a request, add 一下 (yíxià) after the verb — 等一下 (děng yíxià) asks far more gently than 等 alone — or open with 麻烦你 (máfan nǐ), literally "trouble you". Turning something down has its own set: 不用了，谢谢 (bú yòng le, xièxie) is the everyday no, and 恐怕不行 (kǒngpà bùxíng) softens a refusal you cannot avoid giving.
Replies matter as much as openings. When someone apologises to you, answer 没关系 (méi guānxi) or 没事儿 (méi shìr). When someone thanks you, 不客气 (bú kèqi) or 不用谢 (búyòng xiè).
请 (qǐng) is not a universal "please". It works as an invitation in front of a verb — 请坐 (qǐng zuò), 请进 (qǐng jìn), 请慢用 (qǐng mànyòng) — but an ordinary request is softened with 一下 or 麻烦你, not by putting 请 at the front of it.
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对不起 (duìbuqǐ) is a real apology for something you did wrong — breaking, forgetting, or letting someone down. 不好意思 (bù hǎoyìsi) covers everyday friction: bumping into someone, interrupting, or being slightly late. The dividing line is inconvenience versus harm.
对不起 uses three characters — 对 (duì) + 不 (bù) + 起 (qǐ) — and is pronounced duìbuqǐ with the middle syllable neutral. The lighter everyday form is 不好意思 (bù hǎoyìsi), and the formal written form is 抱歉 (bàoqiàn).
It is never rude, but it is often too strong. Used for something trivial, it makes a small moment serious and can make the other person uncomfortable. For squeezing past someone or arriving five minutes late, use 不好意思 instead.