The Chinese family tree: what to call every relative (video)
What to call every relative in Chinese: a family tree you can tap, a calculator for any chain like mum's brother's wife, and audio for every word.
Chapters
- 0:00Start
- 0:38Chinese names every relative
- 1:19Three questions decide the word
- 1:42Learn the inner circle first
- 2:28Aunts, uncles and grandparents
- 2:59Cousins come in eight kinds
- 3:28In-laws and the calculator
- 4:12Grandma's word depends on the region
- 4:52Elders and your partner's family
- 5:39What to do next
Transcript
Start
In English, one word covers every cousin. Chinese has eight. Each one tells the room which branch of the family a cousin comes from, and who was born first. From SayMei Guides, by Mei Lin: Chinese family terms, and what to call every relative. The short answer: Chinese names each relative by three facts. Which side they're on, whether they're older or younger, and whether they're a man or a woman. So your dad's older brother is 伯伯, your mum's brother is 舅舅, and a cousin can be any of eight words. Learn your closest relatives first. The rest follow patterns.
Chinese names every relative
In English, 'uncle' covers five different people. Chinese gives each of them a word of their own. We counted the Chinese words behind each English one. Cousin: eight. Sister-in-law and brother-in-law: six each. Aunt and uncle: five each. So you can't translate 'uncle' until you know which uncle you mean. And the habit is old. China's oldest surviving dictionary, the Erya, took shape around the 3rd century BC, and it already splits a father's brothers into older and younger. It even names a person's descendants eight generations down. And the last one? 云孙, the cloud grandchild.
Three questions decide the word
Every Chinese family word answers three questions. Whose side? Your mum's parents carry 外, outside: 外公 is her father. Older or younger? Your dad's older brother is 伯伯, and his younger brother is 叔叔. Man or woman? Your dad's sister is 姑姑. Know these three, and most words are easy to guess.
Learn the inner circle first
You'll say a handful of family words every day, and the rest a few times a year. We ranked relatives by how often their words come up in 33.5 million words of film and TV subtitles. Your parents, partner, children and siblings take ten of the top twelve places. The other two? 叔叔, your dad's younger brother, and 奶奶, your dad's mother. The exam syllabus agrees, and then stops. We looked up the 58 relatives in our tree and calculator on the 2025 HSK word lists. Over half, 31 of them, aren't on any list. So an HSK course will teach you 妈妈 in week one, and may never teach you 舅妈, your mum's brother's wife.
Aunts, uncles and grandparents
This is where English and Chinese first part ways. Your dad's brothers and sisters get three words, and your mum's get two. On your dad's side, age matters. On your mum's, it doesn't: every brother is 舅舅, and every sister is 姨妈. Grandparents split by side, too. Your dad's parents are 爷爷 and 奶奶. Your mum's are 外公 and 外婆. And the same 外 turns up at the other end of the tree: your daughter's children are 外孙 and 外孙女.
Cousins come in eight kinds
Every cousin gets one of two prefixes. Your dad's brothers' children are 堂. Every other cousin is 表. Two more questions finish the word: older or younger than you, and man or woman. So your mum's sister's daughter, two years older than you, is your 表姐. Her little brother, born after you, is your 表弟. Here's the catch: your dad's sister is on your dad's side, but her children are still 表, because the link runs through her.
In-laws and the calculator
Marriage brings a new set of words, and which set depends on whether you married a man or a woman. Marry a man, and his parents are 公公 and 婆婆. Marry a woman, and hers are 岳父 and 岳母. Their brothers and sisters change too. Chinese even names the bond between in-laws: two women married to brothers are 妯娌, and two men married to sisters are 连襟. Long chains get hard. Your husband's older brother's wife takes a moment, even at a Chinese dinner table. So we built a calculator. Build any chain, one relative at a time: your mum's older brother's wife is 舅妈. And when a chain has two answers, it shows both, and says what decides it.
Grandma's word depends on the region
Some words change with the region. The best known is your mum's mother. In the north she's 姥姥, and in the south and in Taiwan, she's 外婆. In 2018, that split made headlines. A Shanghai primary-school textbook swapped 外婆 for 姥姥 in a story, because a dictionary marks the southern word as dialect, The China Project reported. After an outcry, the publisher apologised and put 外婆 back. Watch out for 爱人, too. In mainland China, it means your spouse. Elsewhere, CC-CEDICT notes, it means a lover. Say 老公 or 老婆, and you're safe everywhere.
Elders and your partner's family
Chinese uses family words for strangers, too. A child calls any man of their parents' generation 叔叔, and any woman 阿姨. As an adult, a man about your age is 大哥, a woman a little older than you is 大姐, and a skilled worker, like a driver, is 师傅. When you're unsure, guess younger. Calling a woman near your own age 阿姨 can sting. Those two words matter most when you meet a partner's family. Before the wedding, their parents are 叔叔 and 阿姨. The first line Mei Lin teaches in our Meet the Parents role-play is 叔叔阿姨好！ Hello, uncle and auntie. After the wedding, it's customary to switch to 爸 and 妈. Chinese even has a word for that switch: 改口.
What to do next
So, what next? Map your own family, and say each word out loud. Learn the inner circle first. When you meet a cousin, ask who's older. Listen for the family's own words. And describe your family out loud, in full sentences, before the next dinner. Want to practise your family words out loud? You can talk with Mei Lin for free: your first lesson is 10 minutes, with no account and no card. The family tree, the calculator and audio for every word are on the page at saymei dot app.