The Chinese family tree: what to call every relative
What to call every relative in Chinese: a family tree you can tap, a calculator for any chain like mum's brother's wife, and audio for every word.
English gets by with one word for every cousin. Chinese has eight, and each one tells the room which branch of the family a cousin comes from and who was born first.
I wrote this guide for heritage learners, anyone about to meet a partner's family, and anyone tired of saying "uncle" and hoping. You'll get a family tree you can tap, a calculator for any chain of relatives, and the patterns behind the words.
Key takeaways
- Three questions pick the word. Whose side, older or younger, and man or woman.
- Your mum's side is the "outside". The word for outside, 外, marks your mum's parents and your daughter's children.
- Cousins split eight ways. Only your dad's brothers' children are 堂 cousins; every other cousin is 表.
- Grandma depends on where you are. Your mum's mother is 外婆 in the south and Taiwan, and 姥姥 in the north.
- Exam lists skip most of the family. Over half the relatives in our tree have no word on any HSK list.
- A partner's parents are 叔叔 and 阿姨 until the wedding. After it, many people call them Dad and Mum.
Chinese names every relative precisely
In English, "uncle" covers five different people. Chinese gives each of them a word of their own, and it does the same for aunts, cousins and in-laws.
We counted the Chinese words behind each English one, using the relatives in our tree and calculator:
Sister, nephew, niece, grandson, granddaughter and each parent-in-law split in two as well. Source: our count of the words in this guide's tree and calculator, each checked against CC-CEDICT.
So you can't translate "uncle" until you know which uncle you mean.
The habit is old. China's oldest surviving dictionary, the Erya, took shape around the 3rd century BC and has a whole chapter on relatives. It already splits a father's brothers into those born before him and those born after, as Chinese still does.
My favourite detail: it names a person's descendants eight generations down. The last is the "cloud grandchild", 云孙. You won't need that one, but you will need the words for your aunts.
Three questions decide the word
Every Chinese family word answers three questions. Once you know them, most words are easy to guess.
- Whose side? Your dad's family or your mum's. Your mum's parents carry 外, outside: 外公 is her father. Your dad's brothers' children are 堂 cousins; 堂 also means a hall.
- Older or younger? Your dad's older brother is 伯伯, and his younger brother is 叔叔. Your own brothers are 哥哥 if they're older and 弟弟 if they're younger.
- Man or woman? Your dad's sister is 姑姑, and your mum's sister is 姨妈.
We put every relative on both sides of your family into one tree, with your dad's side on the left and your mum's on the right. Tap anyone to hear their word:
Interactive Chinese family tree
Every relative on both sides, coloured by whose side they're on. Tap anyone to hear the word.
Show
Grandparents' words
- Dad's side
- Mum's side
- Married into the family
- You and your brothers and sisters
Tap anyone in the tree to hear their word and see the other words for them.
In the tree, cousins and siblings older than you sit above the dotted line through you, and younger ones below it. Their words compare their age with yours, so a cousin born a year before you is a 哥 or a 姐 for life.
Learn the inner circle first
You'll say a handful of family words every day and the rest a few times a year. We ranked relatives by how often their words come up in film and TV, using a large collection of subtitles.
Here are the twelve relatives you'll talk about most:
| Relative | Everyday word | Formal word |
|---|---|---|
| Mum | 妈妈 | 母亲 |
| Dad | 爸爸 | 父亲 |
| Son | 儿子 | – |
| Daughter | 女儿 | – |
| Wife | 老婆 | 妻子 |
| Husband | 老公 | 丈夫 |
| Older brother | 哥哥 | – |
| Younger brother | 弟弟 | – |
| Younger sister | 妹妹 | – |
| Older sister | 姐姐 | – |
| Dad's younger brother | 叔叔 | 叔父 |
| Dad's mother | 奶奶 | 祖母 |
Your parents, partner, children and siblings take ten of the twelve places. Ranked by how often the everyday or formal word comes up in SUBTLEX-CH, 33.5 million words of film and TV subtitles. Readings: CC-CEDICT.
The exam syllabus agrees, and then stops. We looked up every relative in our tree on the 2025 HSK 3.0 word lists:
Not listed: all eight cousins, most in-laws, and five of your parents' brothers, sisters and their spouses. Source: our count against the HSK 3.0 syllabus word lists.
So an HSK course will teach you 妈妈 in week one and may never teach you 舅妈, your mum's brother's wife. Those words you'll pick up from family, or from this page.
Your parents' brothers and sisters
This is where English and Chinese first part ways. Your dad's brothers and sisters get three words, and your mum's get two.
On your dad's side, age matters. His older brother is 伯伯, his younger brother is 叔叔, and his sisters are all 姑姑. On your mum's side, it doesn't: every brother is 舅舅, and every sister is 姨妈.
The people they marry get words too:
- your dad's older brother's wife, 伯母
- your dad's younger brother's wife, 婶婶
- your dad's sister's husband, 姑父
- your mum's brother's wife, 舅妈
- your mum's sister's husband, 姨父
Big families add birth order in front. The eldest of your dad's sisters is 大姑, and the youngest of your mum's is 小姨. Families with many aunts and uncles number the ones in between.
If you're introducing one, I'd keep it simple:
- This is my uncle, my mum's brother. 这是我舅舅。 Zhè shì wǒ jiùjiu.
- This is my aunt, my dad's sister. 这是我姑姑。 Zhè shì wǒ gūgu.
Grandparents split by side, too
Your dad's parents are 爷爷 and 奶奶. Your mum's parents get the "outside" words, 外公 and 外婆, or 姥爷 and 姥姥 in the north. The same 外 turns up at the other end of the tree: your daughter's children are your 外孙 and 外孙女.
The words stack as you go up a generation. Your dad's grandfather is 太爷爷 in everyday speech, and 曾祖父 on paper.
Great-aunts follow a neat pattern. Each word is the aunt word your parent uses for her, followed by the grandma word for that side:
- your dad's dad's sister, 姑奶奶
- your dad's mum's sister, 姨奶奶
- your mum's dad's sister, 姑姥姥
- your mum's mum's sister, 姨姥姥
You'll also hear 姑婆 for a grandfather's sister and 姨婆 for a grandmother's. The calculator below knows all of these, so you don't have to.
Cousins come in eight kinds
Every cousin gets one of two prefixes. Your dad's brothers' children are 堂; every other cousin is 表. CC-CEDICT defines 表 as a family relationship through women.
Two more questions finish the word: older or younger than you, and man or woman. Here are all eight:
One English cousin, eight Chinese words
Only your dad's brothers' children are 堂 cousins. Every other cousin is 表.
| Cousin | Olderman | Olderwoman | Youngerman | Youngerwoman |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Dad's brother'schildren | 堂哥 | 堂姐 | 堂弟 | 堂妹 |
| Dad's sister'schildren | 表哥 | 表姐 | 表弟 | 表妹 |
| Mum's brother'schildren | 表哥 | 表姐 | 表弟 | 表妹 |
| Mum's sister'schildren | 表哥 | 表姐 | 表弟 | 表妹 |
- 堂 táng: through your dad's brothers
- 表 biǎo: through a woman, or your mum
哥 older man, 姐 older woman, 弟 younger man, 妹 younger woman, always compared with you. Source: CC-CEDICT.
So your mum's sister's daughter, two years older than you, is your 表姐. Her little brother, born after you, is your 表弟.
The grid also shows why the rule trips people up. Your dad's sister is on your dad's side, but her children are still 表, because the link runs through her.
My advice: when you're not sure, ask. Families expect it, and the answer makes a good first conversation:
- Is he older or younger than you? 他比你大还是比你小？ Tā bǐ nǐ dà háishi bǐ nǐ xiǎo?
In-laws and the family you marry into
Marriage brings a new set of words, and which set depends on whether you married a man or a woman. Here's what you call your spouse's family:
| Your spouse's… | If you married a man | If you married a woman |
|---|---|---|
| Father | 公公 | 岳父 |
| Mother | 婆婆 | 岳母 |
| Older brother | 大伯子 | 大舅子 |
| Younger brother | 小叔子 | 小舅子 |
| Older sister | 大姑子 | 大姨子 |
| Younger sister | 小姑子 | 小姨子 |
Every word changes with who you married. Readings: CC-CEDICT; Wiktionary for 大姑子, which CC-CEDICT lacks. In 大伯子, 伯 isn't read bó.
Many of these are words for talking about people, not for calling them. CC-CEDICT notes that 小姨子 isn't used to address your wife's sister to her face.
Your own brothers and sisters bring in their spouses, too. Your older brother's wife is 嫂子, and your younger brother's wife is 弟妹. Your older sister's husband is 姐夫, and your younger sister's is 妹夫.
Chinese even names the bond between in-laws. Two women married to brothers are 妯娌, and two men married to sisters are 连襟.
Work out any relative with the calculator
Long chains are where it gets hard. Your husband's older brother's wife, or your dad's sister's son, takes a moment even at a Chinese dinner table.
We built the calculator for exactly this. Build any chain below, one relative at a time. You can also type a Chinese word, its pinyin or English to see who it means:
Chinese relative calculator
Build a chain like “mum's brother's wife” and get the Chinese word, with audio. Or look a word up to see who it means.
Mum's sideNot on the HSK lists
Your mum's older brother's wife
舅妈
- 舅母 formal
Try one
Words and readings: CC-CEDICT. Recordings: SayMei's dictionary voices, and ElevenLabs for nine words the dictionary had no good clip for.
When a chain has two answers, the calculator shows both and says what decides it. That's usually an age: whether a cousin is older than you, or an uncle is older than your parent.
Grandma's word depends on the region
Some relatives have different words in different places. The best known is your mum's mother: 姥姥 in the north, and 外婆 in the south and in Taiwan.
In 2018 that split made headlines. A Shanghai primary-school textbook swapped 外婆 for 姥姥 in a story, because a dictionary marks the southern word as dialect, The China Project reported. After an outcry in Shanghai, the publisher apologised and put 外婆 back.
Here are the words that change with the region:
| Word | Where you'll hear it | Who it means |
|---|---|---|
| 姥姥 | Northern China | Mum's mother |
| 外婆 | Southern China and Taiwan | Mum's mother |
| 姥爷 | Northern China | Mum's father |
| 外公 | Southern China and Taiwan | Mum's father |
| 阿嬷 | Taiwan, from Taiwanese | Grandma |
| 爱人 | Mainland China | Husband or wife |
Your mum's parents are the words that change from north to south. Sources: The China Project and Language Log on the north–south split; CC-CEDICT for 阿嬷 and 爱人.
Watch out for 爱人. In mainland China it means your spouse, but CC-CEDICT notes that elsewhere it means a lover. Use 老公 or 老婆 and you're safe everywhere.
My tip: if you're not sure which grandma word a family uses, listen for it first. The family tree above switches between the two with one tap.
What to call elders who aren't family
Chinese uses family words for strangers too. A child calls any man of their parents' generation 叔叔, and any woman 阿姨.
As an adult you'll use a few more. Here's who gets which:
| Who you're talking to | What to call them |
|---|---|
| A child | 小朋友 |
| A man about your age | 大哥 |
| A woman a little older than you | 大姐 |
| A man your parents' age | 叔叔 |
| A woman your parents' age | 阿姨 |
| A woman your mum's age, politely | 伯母 |
| An older man, with respect | 大爷 |
| An older woman, warmly | 大妈 |
| A skilled worker, such as a driver | 师傅 |
Most of these borrow a family word: big brother, big sister, uncle, auntie. Source: the usage notes in CC-CEDICT for each word.
My rule: when you're unsure, guess younger. Calling a woman near your own age 阿姨 can sting, so 大姐 is the kinder choice.
Meeting your partner's family
The first visit is where these words matter most. Before the wedding, your partner's parents are 叔叔 and 阿姨. Save 先生 and 女士 for strangers and clients.
In our Meet the Parents role-play, the first line Mei Lin teaches is this one:
- Hello, uncle and auntie. 叔叔阿姨好！ Shūshu āyí hǎo!
After the wedding, it's customary to switch to 爸 and 妈. Chinese has a word for that switch, 改口, changing how you address someone. Parents on both sides often mark it with a gift of money, the 改口费.
With your partner's grandparents, aunts and cousins, I'd follow your partner's lead and use the calculator to check. Getting a word right at dinner goes a long way.
What to do next
- Map your own family. Tap through the tree and say each word out loud for the people you actually have.
- Learn the inner circle first. Parents, siblings, grandparents and your parents' siblings cover most conversations.
- Ask about age. When you meet a cousin, find out whether they're older than you; the word depends on it.
- Listen for the family's own words. Northern and southern families differ, and they'll forgive a learner who asks.
- Practise out loud. Describe your family to someone, in full sentences, before the next dinner.
Want to practise talking about your family before you meet them? A live lesson with Mei Lin is the quickest way to get the words into your mouth.
FAQ
What do you call your mom's sister in Chinese?
Your mum's sister is 姨妈, whether she's older or younger than your mum, and many people simply say 阿姨. Big families add birth order: the eldest is 大姨 and the youngest 小姨. Her husband is 姨父, and her children are your 表 cousins.
What do you call your dad's brother in Chinese?
It depends on his age. Your dad's older brother is 伯伯, and his younger brother is 叔叔. Their wives are 伯母 and 婶婶. Your mum's brothers are all 舅舅, older or younger, and their wives are 舅妈.
How do you say cousin in Chinese?
There's no single word. A cousin is 堂 if they're your dad's brother's child, and 表 otherwise. Then 哥, 姐, 弟 or 妹 says whether they're an older or younger man or woman, compared with you. So an older female cousin on your mum's side is 表姐.
How do you say grandma in Chinese?
Your dad's mother is 奶奶 everywhere. Your mum's mother is 外婆 in southern China and Taiwan, and 姥姥 in the north; both are standard. When a Shanghai textbook swapped 外婆 for 姥姥 in 2018, an outcry got the change reversed.
What do you call your boyfriend's or girlfriend's parents?
Call them 叔叔 and 阿姨, uncle and auntie, and greet them together with 叔叔阿姨好. Save 先生 and 女士 for strangers. After the wedding, it's customary to switch to 爸 and 妈.
How do you say husband and wife in Chinese?
In everyday speech, 老公 and 老婆. The formal words are 丈夫 and 妻子, and 先生 and 太太 are polite. In mainland China 爱人 means spouse, but CC-CEDICT notes that elsewhere it means a lover.
How do you say mother-in-law in Chinese?
A woman's mother-in-law is 婆婆. A man's is 岳母, or 丈母娘 in everyday speech. Face to face, after the wedding, it's customary to say 妈. The fathers-in-law are 公公 and 岳父, and both become 爸.
Why does Chinese have so many words for relatives?
Each word records whose side someone is on, their age and their sex, which English leaves out. The habit is old: the Erya, China's oldest surviving dictionary, already splits a father's brothers into older and younger. Cantonese and other varieties have their own sets, which our Mandarin vs Cantonese guide touches on.
Sources
- MDBG. CC-CEDICT, release of 8 October 2026 (CC BY-SA 4.0). https://www.mdbg.net/chinese/dictionary?page=cc-cedict
- Wiktionary entries for four terms CC-CEDICT lacks, checked 8 October 2026: https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/%E5%A4%A7%E5%A7%91%E5%AD%90 · https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/%E4%BC%AF%E5%85%AC · https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/%E4%BC%AF%E7%A5%96%E7%88%B6 · https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/%E5%8F%94%E7%A5%96%E7%88%B6
- 爾雅, chapter 4, 釋親, "Explaining relatives", on Chinese Wikisource. https://zh.wikisource.org/wiki/%E7%88%BE%E9%9B%85
- Wikipedia, Chinese kinship. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinese_kinship
- Fang, T. M. (2018). How do you say "maternal grandmother" in Chinese? Depends who you ask. The China Project, 21 June 2018. https://thechinaproject.com/2018/06/21/how-do-you-say-maternal-grandmother-in-chinese-depends-who-you-ask/
- Mair, V. (2018). Central government control over words for grandmother. Language Log, 4 July 2018. https://languagelog.ldc.upenn.edu/nll/?p=39065
- Cai, Q., & Brysbaert, M. (2010). SUBTLEX-CH: Chinese word and character frequencies based on film subtitles. PLoS ONE, 5(6), e10729. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0010729
- Center for Language Education and Cooperation (2025). New HSK syllabus. https://hsk.cn-bj.ufileos.com/3.0/%E6%96%B0%E7%89%88HSK%E8%80%83%E8%AF%95%E5%A4%A7%E7%BA%B21219.pdf
- SayMei, Meet the Parents role-play, in the role-play library, checked 8 October 2026
Methods
Every Chinese word on this page and in its two tools was checked against CC-CEDICT, release of 8 October 2026. The four it lacks, 大姑子, 伯公, 伯祖父 and 叔祖父, were checked in Wiktionary, and the Erya's 云孙 character by character. Regional notes come from the sources above; real families vary more than any table can show.
- The calculator: it walks a model family holding every relative the guide names. It has brothers and sisters older and younger than you and your parents, four cousins of each kind, your spouse's family and two generations below you. A chain that leaves that family, like a cousin's child, gets no word.
- The counts: "Chinese words per English word" counts the different words for the relatives each English word covers. The HSK chart places 58 relatives. It leaves out you, your great-grandparents, great-aunts and great-uncles, and four rarer in-law words: 妯娌, 连襟, 亲家公 and 亲家母. A relative counts at the first level that lists its everyday or formal word, in SayMei's copy of the 2025 syllabus lists.
- The ranking: relatives are ranked by the more frequent of their everyday and formal words in SUBTLEX-CH. Words that also mean Mr. and Mrs., 先生 and 太太, weren't counted.
- The recordings: 113 of the 122 words come from SayMei's dictionary recordings, each checked by ear with three speech-to-text listeners. Nine words had no clip, or one the listeners flagged, such as 大伯子 read as dà bózi. We recorded those with ElevenLabs and checked them the same way.
If you spot a mistake, tell us: we fix errors.
